Additional thoughts from Part One and some very important FAQ’s that I and other swingers have been asked by newbies.
In Part One we gave you of the factors that go into a couple coming into this wonderful way of life. We also made it very clear regarding the 5 “musts” a couple has to possess before they even entertain the possibility of discussing it, exploring it or trying it. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of those 5 qualities. With all five, do not even give any thought to possibly becoming a part of it.
We also mentioned in Part One that there, by way of various surveys and the number swinger’s clubs around the country, approximately 4 million people part of it of every age group, economic background, religious background, professional background and educational background. Swingers ages go from the 20′s (although they are a dying breed0 all the way to the 60, and yes, 70′s. There are people who live in 1/2 million dollar homes and people who live in $800 dollar a month apartment. They are Catholics, Protestants, Jewish, Baptists, Mormons and everything in between. The are lawyers, professors, doctors, nurses, owners of their own companies, athletes, gardeners, bus drivers, managers at Wal Marts, Target, etc as well as some of the finer brand name stores. The have masters degrees, doctorates or just high school diplomas and trade school backgrounds. The fact is simply, it is not important what you have or how smart you are or what kind profession your in because this lifestyle is everybody. For all you know your neighbor on your block could be in the lifestyle.
As far as clubs go there are dozens of them in EVERY one of the 50 states! If you doubt that go to NASCA.com and see for yourself. This site lists the recommended ones in every state with info about each club. Plus there are many, many more not on the list plus the ones that meet once or twice monthly from private by invitation only swingers parties. In addition some of these clubs also arrange for tours of historical importance so you get in sightseeing along with swinging. One of them is a fantastic place in York, Pa. called the Farm where as part of your weekend you are taken on tour of all the old Revolutionary War battlegrounds and the shops, it’s quite time. Another in Dallas sets up tours of the book building where JFK was assassinated from and has been turned into a four story museum. That is a must on anyone’s bucket list!. So you see, it is not just all sex as most uninformed people think. It is much more, it is friendships, doing things outside the lifestyle and adding another piece of the puzzle to your life. But, it is NOT for everyone!
1. We talked it over and decided we are secure enough in our marriage, posses the 5 qualities you mention. What is the best way to handle going to a club the first time.
A.The best answer I can give from experience and from what I have gathered from others in the lifestyle over the years is this. When you contact the club you have decided to go to be sure to let them know you are newbies and this will be your first time. The host and hostess of the club will be only to happy to guide you through, show you the club introduce you to people and answer any questions. Dress casual but normal, no need to dress sexy the first time out. Mingle with people and don’t be afraid to say you are new, they all were once as well. Swingers are very friendly, helpful, fun, considerate and understanding. Go at your own pace and comfort level, dance, meet people and basically make it a social evening. NO is ever forced to swing at a party. The golden rule in the lifestyle “No means No”! If you meet a couple or two you would like to meet with socially away from the club by all means do and see how you interact in a social setting at a restaurant, picnic, bowling, whatever. You set the pace.
2. We want to give it a try, but neither of look like Hollywood stars, nor have the bodies of skilled athletes or models. Won’t that be a turn off?
A. First that will only be a turn off to snobs and phoneys and thankfully there are not many of those in the lifestyle to worry about. As we said in Part One swingers come in all sizes and shapes. It has been my experience and that of many others, that is the personality of the couple that registers first and foremost.If your personalities click, have things in common and you feel genuinely comfortable in their company, who knows where it may lead. Looks and body shape are not a deterrent.
3. We have discussed the potentials for our first encounter. Which is better, a couple or just a third person?
A. That will come down to your own personal choices and what you feel you will be most comfortable with. and the guidelines you have set up between you. Over the years it seems like the preferred first time encounter was MFM get together. It has long been the number one fantasy of women and in this lifestyle they can turn it into reality. For many others it is with a couple. It really comes right down to what you both will feel most comfortable with the very first time. But remember whatever you decide must be a mutual decision and what guidelines you set must be followed.
We have given you a few FAQ’s and next week we’ll have some more. I would suggest, if you are serious about this, that you print out each weekly segment and keep them in a folder for reference. There is a LOT more to come as far as FAQ’s that we hope will help you make the right decision about whether yes we should, or no we shouldn’t. The ultimate and final decision, of course, is yours and yours alone as a couple. Remember, no matter how exciting and fun it sounds this lifestyle is a very special and unique one and it is NOT for everyone!
Have a great week and thank you for viewing this segment of the “Art of Adult” and for the comments. Keep on viewing and keep sending in those comments we love hearing from you on all our AAN segments.
Art Koch, National Features & DVD Editor, NightMoves magazine and AANShare This!
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